DISCERNMENT is a habitual way of thinking and living. It is a process which takes time, that seeks union with God’s will in all things, and therefore, it is relevant for all decisions in all aspects of our life, not only in the question of our vocation!
Accompanying young people in their vocational discernment is an essential expression of our Salesian charism. Our Constitutions affirm “The goal towards which all our pastoral work is directed is to educate the girls to discern God’s plan for them in their lives and to accept this as their mission.” (Art. 72).
Whether you are just beginning to discern, have been wrestling with it for some time, or feel joyfully secure in your call and are working to discover ‘where’ – be encouraged and “Be not afraid.” (Lk. 2:10)
The call is real. God invites. God is patient. God’s love is unconditional. We are less patient with the process and our love is a little shaky at times, but Jesus keeps reaching out to calm our hearts by telling us, “Don’t be afraid.”
Trust that your answer will come, in time, only when you have the courage to ask the questions and to risk the journey, step by step. It also helps to remember that you are not alone. When you are the only one you know who is discerning, it can be easy to (mis)perceive that religious life is not a real option for you or that you really don’t have ‘the call’. Frankly, the unknown, for most people, is scary! But be assured. There are multitudes of young woman who are hearing God’s call to religious life, right now.
WHAT NOW?
- Pray about this tug in your heart, this mysterious and perhaps frightening or joyful draw to the religious life.
- Research. What can you learn about different orders? What attracts you? What does not?
- Contact the Vocation Director via website / email. (Talk to your priest first if that will help).
- Visit the community.
- Keep praying as you discern.
DISPOSITIONS
There are many valuable dispositions that will help you to attend to that ‘tug’ in your heart. Three key ones are: Listening, Responsiveness, and Fortitude.
Listening
“God’s love for us is fundamental for our lives, and it raises important questions about who God is and who we are.” – Pope Benedict XVI (God is Love, 2)
Isn’t it true that we actually listen through all our “senses”? What our ears, eyes, emotions, thoughts, and gut sense tell us? When we decide, we might give preference to one sense over another, but when we are intentional in our listening, our whole being gets involved. That’s one reason why, sometimes, we may feel confused.
The habit of prayer – listening and talking openly with the God who gives you your vocation – is the best path through the confusion, although at times, it may feel as if more confusion arises during prayer.
Regular reception of the Sacraments – Eucharist and Reconciliation – and meditation on Scripture are the deepest sources of grace that can help you to truly listen to what God is revealing to you and what your own heart is saying.
Has anyone (besides God) ever pointed out to you that you’d make a good Sister or asked if you’ve considered religious life? Read something, walked in nature, silently sat in Adoration, served/volunteered, or listened to a talk, and it sparked a question about your life and purpose? Listen to that question and how it resounds in you. Don’t be afraid! God wants you to dive deeper. You will discover the pearl of great price.
Responsiveness
Discernment is a means, not an end. The goal of all discernment is a decision. There comes a point in your journey when you must respond: Yes. No.
It’s your decision, made in freedom and not in fear.
A good spiritual director or faith-filled mentor with whom you can hash out your questions and concerns can help clarify your response.
Conversations with a Vocation Director (arch/diocesan priest or religious order Sister) is also invaluable in helping you to respond to the “Big V” (Vocation) question in your heart. Remember, connecting with a particular Vocation Director does not mean that you are ‘tied’ to that religious community. Your journey may expose you to several religious communities before you find the one where you are called.
Fortitude
This is not only a disposition, but it is a gift of the Holy Spirit. You already have it, if you are baptized and/or Confirmed. During discernment, you need to practice living this gift even more.
Fortitude is the moral virtue that ensures firmness in difficulties and constancy in the pursuit of the good. It strengthens the resolve to resist temptations and to overcome obstacles in the moral life. The virtue of fortitude enables one to conquer fear, even fear of death, and to face trials and persecutions. It disposes one even to renounce and sacrifice his life in defense of a just cause. “The Lord is my strength and my song.” and “In the world you have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (CCC, 1808)
Doubts, temptations, fears – from within and from others – may challenge you as soon as you begin to consider religious life. Am I worthy? I’m not holy enough. Why me? What if I fail? Why are you doing this? Why are you wasting your life? Are you serious?! What about getting married and having children… grandchildren??
Fortitude, humility, and docility will help you to desire God’s will and to accept the answer which is revealed in the process of vocational discernment, that is, whether you are called to married life, to religious life, or to the single consecrated life.
THREE DON’Ts
- Don’t discern religious life while you are also dating or in a relationship. “Multi-tasking” your vocational discernment is not advisable. Your energy, emotions, and time will be pulled in two holy yet conflicting directions.
- Don’t lose your sense of humor! Be patient, enter into God’s “time”, and retain your capacity to laugh, trusting that Jesus and Mary are indeed guiding you and preparing the way. “Cheerfulness is the sign of a heart that loves the Lord very much.” -St. Mary Mazzarello
- Don’t be afraid. May be easier said than done? Maybe not! Courage, each time you feel a little fear creeping up on you, firmly send it away with the words, “Jesus, I trust in You.” and keep praying it until calm returns to your soul.
How do I discern if I have a Salesian vocation?
A PRAYER OF TRUST
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following Your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please You
does in fact please You.
And I hope that I will never do anything
apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this,
You will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore, will I trust You always though
I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for You are ever with me,
and You will never leave me to face my struggles alone.
Amen.
-Thomas Merton
PRAYER FOR DISCERNMENT
Lord I know that You love me
and that You have great plans for me.
But sometimes I am overwhelmed
by the thought of my future.
Show me how to walk forward one day at a time.
As I explore the various options which lie before me,
help me to listen openly to others,
and to pay attention
to what is in the depth of my own heart.
In this way, may I hear Your call to a way of life
which will allow me to love as only I can,
and allow me to serve others
with the special gifts You have given me.
Amen.
RESOURCES
Sacred Scripture (especially daily Mass readings)
The Catechism of the Catholic Church
On the Dignity and Vocation of Women (Mulieris Dignitatem) -St. Pope John Paul II
God is Love (Deus Caritas Est) -Pope Benedict XVI
Christ is Alive! (Christus Vivit) -Pope Francis
Saint auto/biographies
WEBSITES
Institute on Religious Life
Council of Major Superiors of Women Religious
VISION Vocation Match
Vocations Placement
REFLECTION QUESTIONS
Questions for discernment from the USCCB
EXPERIENCE
Visiting with a religious community is another powerful resource. There’s only so much you can learn from a website or printed materials. Be aware that “Come & See” days can vary widely, from a formal group retreat to an informal personal visit. Check out our dates and events!
